I have to warn you. I'm sitting here alone in our wonderful, cozy motorhome, drinking wine and listening to Carole King's 'Tapestry' on our surround-sound stereo system. I'm feeling introspective, reflective, and maybe a little sappy.

We should be in California tomorrow. I lived in California from '74 to '83, age 22 - 31. What a time! Here's a photo circa 1975. I did a lot of backpacking back then. This is me on Lassen looking at Shasta (I think).



Oh how I loved backpacking. To be in the wilderness and have everything you need on your back. There is just something SO satisfying about that kind of self-sufficiency. Even in the snow!



I feel like our current adventure of living in our motorhome is taking that concept to the nth degree. Wherever we are ... we're home. On the Oregon coast with the wind whipping the cold air against our faces walking on the black sand beach with pelicans flying against a fiery sunset ... we're at home. In Wyoming looking up at the extraterrestrial Devil's Tower ... we're at home. On Long Beach Island, Jim's childhood home, with so many family and wonderful friends ... we're at home. It's a fantastic life. Truly realizing my fantasy of complete freedom without losing the comforts of home.

But, what happens when fantasies come true? Reality hits. I've discovered the downside of 'always being at home'.

You never get to leave.

Wherever we are ... we're home. Looking up at that other-worldly Devil's Tower - I feel like I *should* be at the computer sending emails and finding web-development work. Being here in Gold Beach, Oregon where there is a one-of-a-kind jet boat ride up a wild and scenic river. We don't partake because ... 'We're not on vacation, y'know. We have work to do and we don't have money to spend on frivolous boat rides'.

hmmmm

Y'know how when you go on vacation and you get to completely relax because you're in foreign surroundings and you don't have your normal tools. You read that book ... because there's nothing else to do! No guilt feelings.

That's not what we're doing. Our normal surroundings are always with us. I had to really force myself to read that book yesterday. I had to tell myself, it's *OK* to take the time to read a book.

DON'T get me wrong. This IS my fantasy. Life IS good. It's just that reality is starting to sink in. We have about one more month of financial reserves. And, I find myself wanting to recapture the past. When we get to Reno we will be among my old Tahoe friends. I find myself fantasizing (that's seems to be a common theme with me doesn't it? There's an artist named Ashleigh Brilliant, who makes a postcard I have mounted with the caption "I have Abandoned my Search for Truth, and am now Seeking a Good Fantasy.") about settling in Reno/Tahoe for a while and getting a job/going to school/being among friends.

Jim takes it all in stride. I call him my 'natural Taoist'. Taoism - a philosopy to which we both subscribe - is all about 'going with the flow'. Give up trying to plan your life, and you'll be able to accept the life that's in store for you.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.